At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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