It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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