some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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