you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
