went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
