***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Randomize