my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
