i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
