Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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