Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
