he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
