wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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