I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
