Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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