Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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