Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
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As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
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So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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