My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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