You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
