Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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