My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
