He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
