the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
