Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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