I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
