yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
