By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
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My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
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Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
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