By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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