Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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