she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
