Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
