Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
