paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize