Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...