he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I will be naked everywhere
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.