BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
it glows. i had to have it.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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