So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
