Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
