I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize