You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
