i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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