Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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