I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
