why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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