Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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