I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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