think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
