i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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