GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize