I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
