dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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