didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
