just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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