Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Randomize
