I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
