Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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